In Latest Compromise with GOP, Obama Agrees He is a Muslim. Place of Birth ‘Negotiable,’ President Says WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – In his latest effort to find common ground with Republicans in Congress, President Barack Obama said today that he was willing to agree that he is a Muslim. Differences over his religious orientation have been a sore point between the President and his Republican foes for the past two years, but in agreeing that he is a Muslim Mr. Obama is sending a clear signal that he is trying to find consensus. “The American people do not want to see us fighting in Washington,” Mr. Obama told reporters at the White House. “They want to see us working together to improve their lives, and Allah willing, we will.” But Mr. Obama’s willingness to back down on his claim of being a Christian does not seem to have satisfied his Republican opposition, as GOP leader John Boehner (R-Ohio) today insisted that the President must also agree that he was born in Kenya.
(In related news, MSN:
Saudi media fall for Obama Muslim joke. RIYADH – When a US satirist joked that President Barack Obama will admit to Congress that he is Muslim in his latest compromise with Republicans, Saudi media took it seriously. On Friday the online version of Al-Hayat newspaper and the prominent news website Sabq.org both reported straightforwardly humourist Andy Borowitz’s column that began: “In his latest effort to find common ground with Republicans in Congress, President Barack Obama said today that he was willing to agree that he is a Muslim.)
“President Obama has reached a deal with Republicans to extend the Bush tax cuts, in exchange for extending jobless benefits. Republicans in Congress say they’re thrilled with the tax cuts, while Democrats leaving Congress say they’re thrilled with the jobless benefits.” -Jimmy Fallon
“Great. Let’s extend the policies of the guy who gave us the greatest recession in the history of the planet.” -David Letterman
“Sarah Palin shot a reindeer on the last episode of her show. You don’t typically see politicians shooting reindeer to death two weeks before Christmas.” -Jimmy Kimmel
“Part-time Governor Sarah Palin shot and killed a reindeer on last week’s TV show. And that was her Christmas special. Took her three shots. Well, she’s rusty. Last thing she brought down was John McCain.” -David Letterman
“On Sarah Palin’s next show she gets together with Kate Gosselin and her kids. This may be the biggest meeting of media whores since Michael and Dina Lohan got together to conceive Lindsay.” -Jimmy Kimmel
“President Obama’s pledge to have the most transparent administration in history has come true. Thanks to WikiLeaks.” -Jay Leno
“Nigerian authorities are charging former Vice President Dick Cheney on a bribery scandal that involves Haliburton. That’s when you know you’re bad, when guys in Nigeria are accusing YOU of running a scam.” -Jay Leno
“Nigeria has issued an arrest warrant for Dick Cheney. Good luck serving that this time of year. Cheney’s up in Whoville, stealing Christmas.” -Jay Leno
“The Republicans might be willing to allow homosexual men and women to die for their country, once anyone earning over $500,000 a year is allowed to park in handicapped spaces and be addressed as ‘Guvner’ in an English accent.” -Daily Show correspondent John Oliver on Don’t Ask Don’t Tell